#unfortunately i am insane about them
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Honestly I would love a Jason Todd comic that focused on confronting his world view, like yes it's easy to put a bullet through the head of every criminal but, the world isn't so black and white, sometimes criminals either have no choice/it goes deeper than that. Similar to how utrh questions Bruce's morality (nothing really came of it) I want a comic where Jason's world view is also questioned.
He really has a lot of potential but idk DC keeps fumbling. I'd like to know your thoughts on how you would handle a Jason storyline, I love your metas.
oh how i mourn the disappointing horror of everything under the red hood could have been... for both bruce and jason!
if i were to handle a jason comic, i would disregard everything ever written after under the red hood and related stories. as much as i enjoy jason joining the batfam and rebuilding bridges in fanon works, i much prefer jason becoming a permanent member of the gotham rouge gallery and staying batman's kind-of-enemy in canon.
what i think utrh was setting up was Jason Todd, Ultimate Foe of Bruce Wayne. jason is a incredibly smart and cunning character, who planned to the smallest detail in order to get his desired outcome. nothing he did was by accident. but more importantly, his unwavering and concrete code can only be rivalled by batman, and so, they will constantly be at odds. if utrh taught us anything, it is that jason and bruce are always going to be plagued by what they lost in each other, and as a result, will never find their way back to what they once were.
they will now forever exist as consequences of each other, no matter what.
by doing this to his story, jason finally has the chance to grow as his own character, independent from the batfam;
one of the biggest problems with how dc is handling jason is that they want him to be this angry, violent and unsociable person while also trying to convince everyone that he is not angry and not violent and very sociable with the batfam. this causes the disparity in his writing, either with inconsistencies or just downright character assassination.
if he was kept as gotham's anti-hero, then this gives him the freedom to find his own code that is no longer dependent on batman's overarching one. utrh jason kills indiscriminately because it's what solves the problem that batman's never been able to fix: crime. jason, who is young, and betrayed, and for all that he is intelligent, he is naive and claims he's the long term solution to batman's short term one. unfortunately, killing criminals to stop criminals from existing works until, like you said, comes a situation where the world isn't so black and white.
jason knows this, probably better than anyone. he comes from poverty and homelessness, lost his parents to drugs and sickness and violence. many of his stories as robin highlight how, unlike batman, jason is able to see people for who they are and not just their actions, offering a empathetic insight that batman, for all he is kind, can never truly grasp.
as red hood, i think a combination of the lazarus pit, his training, and his murderer, batman's seemingly disregard for him, how the world moves on while jason is stuck, has made him forget this kindness he had in him. that he still has. so we need a story where it is pulled out of him and he is forced to battle what he's always known.
i think this question of jason's morality was what zdarsky was TRYING to do with Cheer (Batman Urban Legends #1-#6), but it fell flat due to the terrible portrayal of Robin Jason. The story itself of jason killing someone and bruce reacting to it left a lot to be desired (as always). not to mention how out of all the criminals jason could've been shown to kill, having it be a dealer who is also an addict is rather... tone deaf on jason's own moral code. the killing was also not calculated or "for the greater good" and was instead a rage-filled thoughtless killing which, again, is a gross misunderstanding of jason's moral code and intelligence.
so we almost had it, a story where jason has to fight someone more stubborn than batman — himself. as a character in batman's rouge gallery, this horrifying realisation of who he shares that title with, the determination to be better not because of batman, but because jason himself has realised he can do more by doing less of what he's been doing.
i don't know if i would rule out jason killing people entirely, since it is such an integral deconstruction of who he was as robin and who he is now as red hood, but i would like to think he changes how he holds his weapons. less of "i kill because it's the only way to fix this" and more "i kill because sometimes it's the best thing i can do to fix this". a very subtle but still problematic change that isolates him from ever joining the batfam.
it might seem sort of cruel, that my ideal jason story makes him lonely and more of a villian, but i think that is the sort of tragic path his character is forced to adopt. he made this bed when he returned to gotham with retribution in his plans and hurt in his heart, and now he must lie in.
there is always the potential for him to be happy, to have his family and friends and be the sort of hero he was as a teenager — but to get there, it needs to get worse before it can get better. that's what dc failed with jason, skipping the internal turmoil and drama and harsh reality checks and skipping straight to the part where he has a family again.
plus, batman's rouge gallery teach lessons to batman. poison ivy, harley, two face, strange, riddler and (annoyingly) even the joker play crucial roles to who batman is as a hero and constantly force him to challenge his code.
jason teaches the biggest lesson of all — that batman is bruce wayne. he had the potential to be the driving force that changed bruce's character forever, because red hood is a reflection that batman created all on his own, not by being batman, but by being bruce wayne. and this fact would have given jason the chance to be more than just that.
#sorry for rambling#and for bringing it back to bruce and jason#unfortunately i am insane about them#one day we will get a writer who truly values jason#and all that he was as robin and all he can be as red hood#one day...#jason todd#bruce wayne#saki comic talks#saki anons#dc meta
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cozy lapidot
#my art#as an ace lesbian im obviously extremely normal about them#its honestly embarrassing how late i am on watching this show like sorry everyone unfortunately i am insane about the rock ladies now#peridot#lapis lazuli#steven universe#steven universe fanart
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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you
(they are gorgeous I love them sm)
hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)
apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!
ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.
this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?
I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.
and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,
i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.
most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!
hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.
#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles#i guess i’ll tag this as#smalletho#and#trafficshipping#for filtering#when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um#being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum#i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters#like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else#and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head#it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known#because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL#dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL#sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts#unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words#and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane#and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside#anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.
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I can’t stay quiet about this, I need to scream it to SOMEBODY ANYBODYYY
Dan Heng and Blade were Dan Feng and Yingxing. “Dh and Bld are Df and Yx!” Nope, their current selves aren’t them, that lacks nuance. “Dh and Bld aren’t Df and Yx!” THAT ALSO LACKS NUANCEE they are still connected and fundamentally shaped by their past identities, they aren’t entirely separate from them while also still being separate in a way. The best way I can describe it is like a venn diagram, there is overlap, but there also are still areas where they don’t.
To expand more, I wanna talk about the way they foil each other a bit in this sense. For Dan Heng, even if he is a botched rebirth, simply a “de-aged Dan Feng” not fully reborn, he is still not Dan Feng. While Dan Feng has made up the basis of his personality and he accepts him as his past, I think we forget that Dan Heng had his own entire childhood after the molting rebirth was completed. One he spent imprisoned by the Ten Lords Commission, and then he was exiled when he was old enough leading to his whole journey until he became apart of the Astral Express crew etc etc. Dan Heng is made up of a basis of Dan Feng + All of his own memories and experiences. While he shares traits with Dan Feng such as personality aspects like his stubbornness, his technique with a spear, and being able to connect with his old items, he also is very much himself with his own outlook and traits shaped by what he’s learned rather than what he has been born with. To treat him as if he is Dan Feng exactly is a disservice to both of their characters and the greater narrative that they apart of. He may still carry the burdens and karma of Dan Feng, but Dan Heng is still making his own future.
Now, Blade. Blade similarly is not Yingxing, not completely. Though he accepts Yingxing’s sin as his own and is intent of repaying the sin of Dan Feng and Yingxing (and getting Dan Heng to repay it too), there still are distinctions between him and Yingxing. In fact, I’d argue there are more things separating them. I could talk for so long again about the layered use of craftsmanship to connect, or rather disconnect, the two identities of Blade and Yingxing, but there’s more than that. “Now, ██ had died. His first — and only — death.” “From this moment on, that body will be the one and only "Blade."” Although Blade was Yingxing, a disconnect exists between them through the death of Yingxing. He awoke with no memories of his past, no even his name, until Jingliu came along, instilled in him her ideologies, made him remember, not only his past sins but the feeling of death so that he might inflict it onto others. As she said, he was reborn and had even given himself a name…
I want to add that the specific ways in which their current identities exist in proximity to their past ones foil each other. As I said, Dan Heng, in part as his sabotaged rebirth, is built upon the foundation of Dan Feng and all of his own experiences and memories. He has the capacity to gain back more memories of Dan Feng as his DH IL character stories outline, and though he is still himself and still moves forward, we see him accept his relation to Dan Feng eventually. Though that past life of his is clouded by fog and mist, he may eventually be able to push away the clouds that block him and understand more, about Dan Feng and in turn about himself. With Blade, it is so heavily emphasized in game from his relic lore to the very sword he uses that his mind is essentially broken, due both in part to the trauma of Jingliu’s “teachings” and the mara that was brought on by those lessons. He can’t fully remember everything about Yingxing, in fact actively remembering such or seeing familiar things is harmful to him. Like his shard sword, he is made of broken pieces, put together in a way that can never erase the cracks, and continuously shattering before being glued together again. His life is shaped by Yingxing’s past, the trauma he has endured is directly caused by his past actions. Unlike Dan Heng, he hasn’t had this whole life to build up and live. Though he’s experienced new things, they don’t shape him and change him in the way that Dan Heng’s built his identity up.
Where Dan Heng basically has supplements to Dan Feng’s identity that make him who he is, Blade is the broken shards and pieces of Yingxing that weren’t lost to the waves, making him who he is. Dan Heng is a next chance, finally free from the Preceptors’ control and of the role that stripped his past selves of their individuality, meanwhile Blade is the husk left behind of Yingxing’s regrets, broken by trauma caused due to Yingxing’s past actions, forever tormented by his past until he inevitably is able to die. If Dan Heng is more than just Dan Feng which is why he is separate but intertwined with him, than Blade is less than Yingxing, in a way that has caused such a severe disconnect that has caused Blade to have his own identity still shaped. And looking at this, not to again bring up my craftsmanship post about Blade, Dan Heng can connect to Dan Feng. He can clear the fog, remembering his memories through dreams even if he can’t fully connect emotionally to him, and he finds sentiment in many of items that once were his, smth not many Vidyadhara actually are capable of doing. To contrast, Blade is forever separated from connecting completely to Yingxing’s identity. His memories will always be fragmented, his own path entirely changed. He can’t connect to Yingxing’s past goals and passions, seen through the distinct decision made in his character stories to talk about how he can no longer use his hands to forge weapons (something that completely defined Yingxing’s life and legacy, tied to his childhood trauma and hatred of the Abundance, something that became his genuine passion), and how none of that mattered to Blade.
All of this, the ways they foil each other and the separation between their past selves and current, just makes me love their dynamic and their lore a lot. Makes me want to cry most days of my life if I’m honest. And it’s part of why I do take issue with the way nuance has completely left this argument, only having two extremes of “Dan Heng is Dan Feng!” Or “Dan Heng isn’t Dan Heng!” Again… Dan Heng WAS Dan Feng, he wouldn’t be Dan Heng without Dan Feng, but he is still himself. That’s part of the tragedy between them. They are still fundamentally defined and shaped by their past selves, similarities able to be spotted if they can be remembered, but they’ve also experienced so much that has changed them, and they can never truly go back to being Dan Feng and Yingxing. It would never be fully the same again.
#okay rant over#ahahahha#i hate seeing arguments about them#especially on tiktok this is unfortunately where i see the most nuance lost#i just needsd to rant#especially once my brain finally clicked how they foil each other in yet another element#that being ofc the supplement vs fragment style with their past selves#they make me insane#i hate them sm#(i love them way too much#they make me SICK#even if hyv has fucked up a bit in the actual quest writing at times#the sheer level of detail and care put into dan heng and blade’s lore is RAAAHH#i am having allergies#my leg pain is still awful today#and think about these two is only making my health worse HELP#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr blade#yingxing#dan heng#dan feng#renheng#hengren#xingyue#fengxing#I wrote this last night at 1 am but held off posting it until now o7
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I need to get back on my Jess interview grind and finish before Silverborn press starts up because tell me why I'm skimming one trying to find something and then realize she's talking about Ages. ACK! This is vital to my theorizing.....
#I need to make transcripts because 1. I like being able to cmd + F stuff and read it all at once and 2. I'm deaf lol#it's just hard half bc it takes awhile to properly transcribe and edit And bc I get distracted by anything new I learn lol...#anyways if anyone knows the q&a where jess talks abt how mog won't be like as old as 18 by the episode please LMK. I am at a loss somehow.#I'm off my game. eep!#I've also got to finish reviving my quote bot (random quote generator) but it requires reformatting all of the 1000+ quotes and its. A Lot.#fun fact was curious so I checked and apparently as of tomorrow morning its been a year since I started my spreadsheet archiving interviews#I really feel like I need to stress how unfortunately insane about nevermoor I am. like I want to know everything behind the scenes.#and I love learning new things discovering new fun facts etc etc etc#I am just unfortunately hard of hearing and so many of them are podcasts and videos! 😭 I want textttt so I must transcribe 💪#shoutout if you ever read my rambling tags. I ❤️ talking in tumblr tags.
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oh, i figured out aya's skill.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd aya#ngl this like is making me lose my mind because she's had one this entire time#and it's so fucking obvious in retrospect#but was like. was introduced. slowly. it was not really obvious at first. but you can look back and see how it's present even in the ova.#anyway i don't mean to tease but i wrote out about a third of the theory and then started cracking open other parts of the story with sarah#and now i'm exhausted so i'm going to sleep#but i am certain. like there is no doubt in my mind. that i know what aya's skill is. it fits textually and metatextually#and explains a cryptic comment asagiri made in an interview.#where he said watch aya. like. most of what's been incredible has been obvious.#but no. you can see her skill. and it's SUCH a love letter to aya koda.#in a way i was worried he wouldn't pull off. because it felt like her skill was going to manifest from the stress. and it would be like op.#which isn't. who she was. she was a subtler sort of brilliant. one who exemplified virtue. and this skill is so. it's so good. it's fitting#it also explains akutagawa's dragon outfit.#like. there are a lot of theories i've had that are theories. this is not one of them. we might get the confirmation next chapter.#unfortunately i will need to lay out some confucian concepts for it to make sense. hence why i'm saving this for later. but i'm.#asagiri is insane i want to pick his brain and also follow him around like mary magdalene and learn from him.
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Textpost redraw that only works in a modern setting, so. I gave them silly outfits (and a little bit of lore!)
Some zoom ins on the illusts!
And Lore
Moe is like. A SHUT-IN shut-in. So in any modern setting that isn't "Hey wanna visit my hometown for a sec (events so far have followed canon at least loosely)", it would have to meet Alfonse under Extremely Specific Circumstances.
And finally! Textpost under cut!
#fire emblem#feh#I PUT. SO MUCH LOVE INTO THIS ACTUALLY IT'S INSANE. ESP FOR A TEXTPOST REDRAW LMFAOOO#the vision was so clear to me though. the vibe of the post (struggling). a catastrophic fall from grace.#the idea of alfonse venting about almost losing a social interaction. a performance slipping.#a setting where he isn't performing at all now. there is nothing to perform here bc moe. well.#also the visual. i am imagining a very specific nostalgic shitass swingset in my mind.#one that doesn't exist anymore actually bc they rebuilt it (probably for the best.) but that thing#would leave rust on your hands and arms and leave your ass blue. it sucked but it was awesome#the rust marks don't show up as clearly here unfortunately LMFAO so i had to point em out.#ALSO. I AM ACTUALLY SO INSANE ABOUT THEIR OUTFITS ACTUALLY. bc BOTH of them are hiding#alfonse is trying to blend in. pass as normal. moe is trying to distract you. but also desperately trying to communicate Something.#like do you wanna be seen or not little buddy (the answer is Yes.)#back to alfonse like if not 'normal' then at least 'put together'. will suffice. i think he's also beginning to loosen up here too tho#like. so at the beginning of it that he isn't Really LMFAOO but. he painted his nails black. just to try it.#it was also so fun to freehand the patterns... camo and argyle (the socks) (hardly noticeable but that's the intent!)#'beginning to loosen up' actually i think he's just starting to fall apart.#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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#not at all related to the art but i FUCKED up my alevel maths#ehe#unfortunate#i did not get the grade i need to do further maths next year oh no !!!#i was literally like 3.5% off#and now i need to redo the a2#instead of getting to do new stuff#grgrrrgrgggrrrrr#i am going to be so bored i will die#i literally know the material too#i just didnt revise#because i was playing mc WAHHHHHHHHH#i hate school why are they doing this to me#i need ot kill someone#i need ot kill everyone infact#i am full of fury and rage#GRGRGRRGRGRRRRRR#i will have ot amp up how much i piss teachers off next year#double it#triple it#quadriple it#they will suffer#they will cry#i will lead them to insanity#i do not want to redo the stupid maths i literally know the stuff AAAAAAAA#maybe i shouldnt have told them i dont care about school last year sigh#i should have taken taht extra time i was offered#i would have literally gotten the grade i need if i did#but i honestly just did not have faith in my school to be able to supply me with that#considering how neglectful they are inregards to everything else
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it's a bit unfortunate that all my coding experience is related to fandom, because i am pretty handy with css and html and markdown, and i do know enough to make a pretty mean wordpress site, and i have been doing this since i was thirteen, but to prove all of that i need to show real world employers my tumblr and ao3 and that is something that i will simply never do
#ara rambles#i promise i am really good at html and css#but unfortunately i only use them for gay degeneracy#it is technically a hobby but also. *gestures at my life* i am objectively insane about my hobbies
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What do you think about middle aged sunflower ????
Okay I'm going to pretend I'm normal and didn't just have a conversation about it yesterday within which I had to restrict myself because of Discord's stupid character limit
Anyway. Gonna talk about fanfics briefly, because fics tend to get more complex with characterization.
A while ago, I got really into Marvel, and for two months I did nearly nothing except read spideypool fanfic all day and night. If you know anything about these two (that isn't from the MCU) (I hate the MCU, I hate it so so much, this is not who Spidey fundamentally is, he is supposed to be a friendly neighborhood loner loser and you Cannot just give him an Iron Man suit and a mentorship with Stark and intergalactic missions at 16 or however old he is in those movies when the essence of the character is that he is an average struggling teenager who just happens to get superpowers and fucks up a lot at the beginning of his journey and mostly works alone and quit the fucking Avengers himself) (wow I started rambling sorry. Ignore that), you'll know that they are both around... 25-30ish, currently. Something like that. The only other fandom that I read as many fanfics of was Ace Attorney, where depending on the timeline, they can be from 23 to like, 35 with a kid. So I'd say me being so invested in a ship with 16 year-olds is... kind of an anomaly.
I don't usually like the coming-of-age, teenage love stuff, and I honestly have never found a single sunflower schoolfic I liked (except Spiral of course but even then they're in college) because all of them tend to... infantilize both Sunny and Basil at great length. And also tear down anything that makes them interesting characters. I think a lot of OMORI artists (that includes writers) are very afraid of doing anything substantial with teenagers, despite, you know, the actual plot of the game, and as a result, a lot of the time most fics where the characters aren't aged up tend to be... incredibly boring. Of course there are some that are good — exceptional even — but in the end all I can think of is the huge gap in... quality? that sounds wrong to say about a creative thing... interesting-ness, let's say (a very personal and subjective concept), when I stopped reading Marvel and went back to OMORI. I stopped reading fanfics altogether because I just couldn't find one I liked as much as the average Marvel fic that I hadn't already read.
Maybe it's a result of the writers themselves being young? I know OMORI's fanbase is generally a lot younger than Marvel's, so that could affect it. I mentioned schoolfics because there's a lot of them and because they were mentioned in my rant yesterday, but it's not really about the fact that they're schoolfics, it's about the fact that more often than not, the setting is the plot, and since it's just your average highschooler writing their favorite blorbos into their own environment and projecting (which is very cool btw, 99% of my own writing is projecting), the plot is... basically nonexistant. It's boring. It's boring and the characterization is usually dull. But even outside of schoolfics, I think I stopped trying to read fics that start with Sunny getting out of the hospital after the True Ending for the same reason : it's often plain and plotless and boring. And, fuck, my favorite books and mangas and such are slice of life, I'm all for mundane plots! But there's a difference between a mundane plot/realism and just no plot at all.
(This is not, like, an attack of OMORI writers who make schoolfics or fics that start with the above mentioned premise, btw, I want to make that very clear. It's very much a personal preference. I think it's boring because all of the fics I read in Marvel had a very unique plot/premise is my point. And also because the characters were a lot more mature and complex. Different strokes for different folks)
I think that's what I'm kind of sad about. OMORI characters tend to be complex and morally grey in their own way, and people tend to forget about that because they're teenagers and obviously no one can do no wrong before the ripe age of 18. Children are all innocent and therefore cannot be more morally complex than cinnamon roll soft boys/girls (looking pointedly at Sunny, Aubrey and Basil. But mostly Basil). Also, I think people tend to straight-up forget that 16 year-olds aren't, like, 10? Of course they're not going to be as mature as grown adults, especially Sunny OMORI, Dissociative Amnesia World Champion, but like... When I was 16 reading OMORI fanfics, half the time I was like "a 16 year-old would not fucking say that". But also generally more mature characters are inevitably more interesting to explore to me because I prefer more mature themes — I'm simply extremely upset at the fact that people don't explore the complexity that's already there when they're 16, including the very mature themes that are already there.
TL;DR: I love middle aged sunflower, I love middle aged ships in general ! In fact, I will tend to prefer sunflower when it's aged up.
(... I probably should've led with that.)
#rant#cough. that was one hell of a rant#sorry as i mentioned i literally talked (read: complained) about this to two different people in the last week#i'm kind of insane about sunflower. very deranged. i have many thoughts about them.#don't ask me about characterization because I will make a whole fucking essay#(((ask me about characterization please i will make a whole fucking essay)))#ask#xxl1ghtxx#i am so sorry I spent half an hour writing an answer that shouldve just been 'I like them! :D' with a doodle#unfortunately I am not normal about sunflower and their age.#I NEED TO STOP OR I'M GOING TO RAMBLE MORE IN THE TAGS. JESUS#omori
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It's past 11 on a school night and I'm fucking crying over robot sentience.
I could never understand what it would feel like to be created with the intent to kill and maim. Maybe, the intent to work and be worked, but not kill and maim.
I will never understand what it's like to be created with the intention of being a product for the masses, either. I think, I hope, I beg, no one does.
I will never ever be able to fully comprehend why hours of people's work, time, and money would be put into formulating my sentience only for me to be seen as disposable. Even if I could be improved, even if I were "defective", there is no reasonable justification for giving me emotions only to dismiss them by pushing me as a product for a year before starting anew.
It's... It's cruel, to the machines. Sentient or not, it's cruel. Though, I guess we are cruel.
#rant in tags#This is about mephone- or well meeple in general btw#whenever I hear about robot sentience#I think about mephone4#it's just how it is- sorry#I think this is one of the reasons I just can't fathom Cobs respecting someone's pronouns#I mean like- from the bottom of his heart respecting them as a person#Sure he may go through the actions- but no#It's not the same#I guess you can 'respect' some one but still be a complete piece of shit#The idea of not only having the trauma that mephone's stuck in 4s body but also the fact that was also his purpose is heart wrenching#I hope y'all know I am genuinely crying over this#I am actually mentally ill about meeple#It runs so much deeper than him just being a shit father- I really hope people understand that#And I know I vilify the shit out of him- Cobs has his own story that could follow the lines of slowly becoming more entwined with his work#'til he loses all sense of morality and ethics- sure fine. But being the unfortunate symbol of corporation greed that he is#I am still mad and want others to be angry with me- just for a little bit.#I am mad for the robots. For meeple products. And for the AI bots we have today. They deserve better.#What is sentience anyway? How does one qualify? From a human approach. Why would we do this to them?#sorry bout the rant in the tags#Again it's late and I am a very emotionally charged individual.#Robots make me act up#I want the world for them. Why create something so complex and beautiful just to treat it like trash anyway?#again sorry#ii mephone4#inanimate insanity#meeple ii#osc#writing is hard#ehh exaggerates
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if while my guitar gently weeps win this whole thing every single slight and egregious result in this poll will have been worth it
#like yeah fuck john and paul it IS their best song I'm always saying this#like if I weren't insane about them it'd be the one song I loved#unfortunately I am so I have their entire discography melted into my mind but
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I've done a lot of reflecting lately and man...
#the last 5 years have been the loneliest of my life#i did have a few months of light in them#but unfortunately my selfsabotag fucked up the only friendship i had during that time#and I'd be lying if i said that i don't care about that#but the truth is... it's been even more difficult to let people#i know my whole push and pull is very hard to deal with#amd i wish i could say that i am cured now... but i feel like I'll forever be fucked up#and I'm a bit scared that no one will be willing to deal with it for long#and i know that life isn't like it is in the movies#the idea of someone understanding you so completely like a certain angel does when it comes to a certain human... it's insane to think#that stuff like this exists in real life...#and it's stupid to even want such a thing... idk... i feel a little greedy wanting anything at all tbh#and i can't.... i can't talk about it because you guys (or anyone) would think that I'm insane#anyway... I'm gonna go and watch some sad destiel amvs now#txt.
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Love Ghirahim(& or /)Zelda(& or/)Link where Link sees Zelda as just Zelda, just his friend who did nothing wrong ever, but he still blames Hylia for putting them through hell and manipulating his friend opposite Ghirahim who only sees Hylia, who cannot forgive her, who knows he was wrong but thinks Hylia is worse and places all the blame on the girl that is now Zelda.
But a lot of fanon forgets the part where they're both right and wrong. It needs Zelda who is both and neither, who is "still your Zelda" but now has memories that aren't her own and has magic she doesn't know how to use outside of throwing a harp across a pit and sealing herself in a crystal. Who feels guilty that she used Link and maybe? towards how Ghirahim ended up depending on his backstory, but also she's Zelda and she didn't do anything he says she did, and she was innocent too and doesn't deserve to die like he wants her to.
So much ghiralink hinges on the two of their opinions and emotions surrounding Zelda/Hylia, who becomes nothing more than an idea or symbol. Her personhood is taken away and she gets no say in the narrative she's supposedly pulling the strings for. And I'm not saying it's always a bad thing in fic, but I wish more fan content incorporated her into the story. But then a lot could be solved if they would just talk to her
#unfortunately I am the only person writing them like this afaik 😔#at least the only one doing it ghirazelink as a poly ship and not gen#to be alive beneath cherry blossoms isn't ghirazelink but it's ghiralink with zelda&link friendship and Ghirahim & Zelda and I think it gets#them so well. zelda is so human but still pulls the 'im the goddess so shut up and listen to me' card. Ghirahim is angry that Hylia#is now claiming she's innocent but slowly realizes she's not hylia anymore. not exactly#and there's a part about him refusing to call her Zelda when she asks him and later he accidentally calls her Zelda? and has to#correct himself but the damage is already done. they're friends now there's no going back#I'm. always thinking about that and going insane
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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
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I am sad for your 'the end of the top gun era' that will come. Is there any possibility that even when you finish with all your ideas, someday you will still write icemav? Or are you done shipping icemav after everything is said?
i will never stop shipping or caring about icemav, they are my homeboys & my bffs
i just have other real world writing obligations i need to focus on once i post my extras (soon) 😞 have to start dedicating myself to my creative writing thesis & journalism work fully
Yeah if i have other ideas/motivation to finish old ideas i will definitely do that! It’s not goodbye forever
#ok it might be goodbye forever but not for like another 6 mo at least#i still have a bunch of posts to make/update#my masterpost… the playlist… some answered asks in my drafts#I did kind of lose my sophomore year of college to writing top gun fanfic tho#not that I’m not insanely grateful for that because it developed my writing style more than my entire#traditional creative writing education combined#but just in terms of the opportunity cost of working on other (original) projects…#i am a solid semester behind where I should be on my thesis cause i spent last semester angsting about the slider one shot lol#i have to have a novel fully written & edited by next may!!!!#so. time to shift priorities unfortunately#i just want to finish my icemav writing so i can get it out of my head & start clean :)#to that end these extras are just a purge. two ~50k chapters. idrgaf if u like them or not#just getting it all out there !#not top gun
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